Etsy Bloggers Blog Carnival: New Years Resolutions

So I wanted to help by giving you all a list of new years resolutions but then I figured that for a girl who can’t even take the energy to come up with one resolution coming up with a list would just be a whole lot of effort. So I did the next best thing and googled new years resolutions and didn’t I come up with the top ten. Besides it is so much better to break someone elses resolution than it is to break your own. So here we go:

1. Spend More Time with Family (Yes this includes your Wedges Family members too!)
Unless of course you already spend too much time with family. Like if your mom still folds your laundry and your dad cuts your sandwiches into triangles for you, then perhaps your should resolve to spend less time with family and I don’t care if your 5!

2. Fit in Fitness (Stay tuned for future Wedges workout video!)
Or just start calling the every day things that you do fitness. Like instead of getting food from the fridge, you are now going on a walk that just coincidentally ends at the fridge and with you stuffing your face with twinkies and a sandwich that your dad cut into triangles for you.

3. Tame the Bulge
Not really sure why this is separate from the fitness one unless this one involves like a cape and whip maybe. Like my stomach rolls use to be ferocious now they are only passive aggressive. I don’t get it.

4. Quit Smoking
If you don’t smoke, start, then next year you can resolve to stop.

5. Enjoy Life More
Or have less expectations for what enjoyment is. Like say enjoyment is now about getting a parking ticket because your car went 5 minutes over the meter which might have had something to do with the man in line in front of you at the supermarket who apparently hadn’t been told that debit cards and dollar bills have been invented and insisted on paying for his purchases with pennies and nickels. Now look how happy you are to find that you owe the city another 30 dollars. Yay!

6. Quit Drinking
Remember there is no point in quitting drinking if you don’t make a good go of doing it in the first place. Binge for a while, then quit. People will be much more impressed that way.

7. Get Out of Debt (So you can adopt more wedges!)
Rob a bank. Be sure to wear one of the black outfits that your mom has pressed and folded for you. Next year resolve not to steal.

8. Learn Something New
OR find a new way of looking at something old that you already knew.

9. Help Others
Especially if helping others will benefit you. Don’t be a sucker about it. And doing something out of the goodness of your heart is just a way to make the rest of us feel bad.

10. Get Organized
Or at least become really skilled and defending your disorganization.